Thursday, 3 July 2014

"Do You Want A Boyfriend?"

"Do you want a boyfriend?"


"Don't you want to get married?"


"But don't you want kids?"

Not really, no.

"But when you're old, won't you be lonely?"


The world is made up of people, and a vast majority of those people are into sex and relationships and who's hot and who's sexy and damn would I tap that ass. (whatever people mean by that, I have no idea!)

I know I've joked about my misunderstanding of 'hot' (as in good-looking, attractive sort of thing rather than uncomfortably warm, as I used to always presume) but the actual scene itself wasn't just about that misunderstanding, but also about another part of my life.

I was 11-12, and a couple of my mates were on a computer in a classroom, looking at this gallery of 'hot guys.' They were all fairly famous people. They asked me about a few of them, and after the expected literal sense, (and going through the same literalness with the word 'fit' too), I only thought 'meh.' There was nothing really interesting to fawn over like these girls so obviously were, it was all just skin and eyes and hair and you can see that sort of thing easily at your local park or museum or library or your next door neighbour's house. All such venues also have something else to bring you there to as well, from taking a walk to catching up with a friend. Nothing special about their looks.

These mates would go on to have crushes and such while I would be there, just thinking "I could not give a shit." Romance was far from my mind as I talked to people in general. I've never cared about romance, particularly, it was all dull and weird and why anyone would want it when it creates a whole lot of faff for little reason, nope, not a clue. Most people are fulfilled by it, I know now, but I am not one of those people. Lots of people are fulfilled by sex also, but I know I won't be. My life isn't worse off for the lack of these things. True, I may never fall into romantic love with that random person I connect to for some strange reason, but I will also never be dumped by that person either, I won't have to waste endless energy trying to impress people in that way, and I can concentrate on other stuff I actually enjoy, instead, (like writing this blog now!) no taking partners into consideration.

Unfortunately, the world is biased against people who just couldn't care less. I must have had a million conversations in High School like the one above, where classmates - usually girls - don't seem able to comprehend any path that isn't along the lines of get married, have children. They seemed to be under the impression that you can't be happy without going on this path, well, some of us will be happier going a different way. The world wants babies, but we have enough of those already. Too many people think that you have to be attracted to someone somewhere, that everyone wants a relationship like that. They're wrong.

This is your asexual, aromantic blogger, signing off.

(Anyone interested in further information may like to check out AVEN - the Asexual Visibility and Education Network)

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