Saturday, 30 March 2013

10 Hints, Tips, and Notes to Ignore if You Feel Like It

1. Procrastinating means tight deadlines. Unless there are no deadlines. So if you're going to procrastinate, only do it when there are deadlines.

2. Wait that half-hour or hour. If it culminates in something exciting or interesting, then you will have got something good out of the wait. If it resolves in one darkening pixel, then you know you're patient.

3. Find the unwritten social rules. Write them down.

4. Radians are a measure of angles in fractions of pi. Degrees are a measure of angles that are not fractions of pi. They are both set ups on your calculator.

5. Always accept chocolate unless you have any reason to suspect that it is laced with drugs. And don't offend drabblers either.

6. You can manage to read over 400,000 words in a night. What you can't do is remember it.

7. Don't argue with that classmate about sarcasm. You're so obviously right about it, after all.
Sarcasm aside, you only notice it when it's about as obvious as a dancing giraffe in a brightly-coloured leotard doing the Macarena right up close to your face. It otherwise isn't there or just washes over your head.

8. You can write sarcasm without meaning to, so it's obvious that you aren't cut out for it.

9. "Who can't take a joke?!" when referring to yourself or anyone else should be countered with "Thousands of people really, from those who can't recognise one to those who just think that kind of thing stupid in the extreme," rather than silence.

10. You can make the future brighter or you can make it really horrible. Your choices determine what will happen. You can plan but that doesn't mean that those plans will ever be put into action. Your life depends on you for the most part.

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