Thursday, 15 January 2015

They Know Who I Am


Inner-Minim: You scream like a boy.

This one's going to take time to get used to. It's catching my attention more than the orange blinky light telling me that my battery is definitely beyond hope now if it wasn't before (although it probably was)


Yes, Chrome, that's exactly right, I am a dark blue figure with no neck, no limbs, and am encased in a bubble. I think that last one's true enough, actually. But still, imagine if I were!

I love you, Google. Really, I do. And I'm not just saying this because of your email, your blogging platform, your browser, your maps on my phone, and your search engine, all of which I get a useful use out of. I have to love you, or you'd reveal the things I've been Googling in you. ;) (I guess the most embarrassing thing would be people finding out that my body is reminding me that it's female - oh shit, I've just leaked it. And for those of you shrieking "TMI!" or "Ew!" through your monitor screens, you really need to consider that this approach is unlikely to work. You need to shriek through your microphone, like you're recording over the loudest sounds ever. And then save it and promptly forget about it until one day you're looking through your massive system of folders and then you listen over it again in several months and are just left thinking "WTF?!")

(Also, name it "the-cake-is-a-lie<file system code bit like .png for images or .docx for Word Documents even though I barely ever use those anyway).

(I don't even know what I'm talking about any more)

Yes Google, I do love you, but I do feel that it's a little bit odd that you are determined to make sure I know my name no matter where I browse. I mean, I know my name. This isn't really an essential feature.

All I'm saying is, a more useful feature would be "How to become a pirate ninja."

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