If you want to update all of the time, then why not have an update service that actually works, rather than just a bit of a nuisance every time someone logs in? Seriously, it doesn't give anyone a good impression of you.
-Minim
Dear laptop,
Okay, I'll acquire for you a new battery. Just please stop that light flashing at me.
-Minim
Dear Sheep,
You're an old game, but I still love you. And I still get frustrated at you because sheep are mindless creatures and they get themselves killed easily, but it's all relative.
-Minim
Dear Smartphones,
My little device that's definitely not a smartphone is a lot more durable than you. You might want to think about that a minute.
-Minim
Dear Internet,
Thank you for existing! You really help enhance my life.
-Minim
And a little extra:
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