You know that guy who sits next to you in Maths? No, not the really annoying one on your right, but the still-slightly-annoying guy on your left?
Never, ever, try to get him to call you Malvina.
Don't.
No matter how much you love the name.
From,
Known as Melvin since Year 8.
(P.S. Go for Marvin instead. It's a much cooler name.)
